What life is all about? Karma? Karma pull us all together. I love you you love me, I hurt you, you hurt me...all tangle together. How to untangle? Just accept that it's karma and fate that pull us together and take this life as the opportunity to get better. Believe I must had done same thing to the other person and caused the same amount of pain to him/her. I regret and repent what I did to cause other's pain and today's karma. Everything is also a reflecttion of my heart. If I want things to work at work, marriage, familiy, ....I am the base, the leader..I have to be strong. It's a matter of changing the way how I think. Everything changes.
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Today, chigong teacher told me " Children, because they don't know, they need to learn. As a parent, we can't be tired from teaching them. 心不能累！” I am exhausted. Why can't I be tired? Today, I expressed to Ethan How tired I am with his attitude, his laziness, my relationship...but I don't just say I can't do it and give up. I have to try different ways to make things work". Since I was 14, I lived in Costa Rica with my younger brother and sister without my parents. I had to figure out how to do everything by myself. I can't accept excuses for laziness and not trying. It won't get anyone any where. Rome was not build in one day. Trying to find solutions is important instead of waiting for someone to give answers. Ethan, I hope after today's conversation, you can start to take responsibility of your learning. I love you very much!
Interesting. I wrote something, it got disappeared. I expressed my frustrations between the relationship with my son, my husband, even with Nana. Nothing turns out the way how I want them to be. I think it's my problem. Who can teach me how to be a patient inspirational mom, loving and supporting wife and understanding boss. Nothing to look forward to. I am upset. I believe my relationship with my partner drives everything else. How come? I let my frustration go somewhere else. It's not healthy and fair to everyone else. I surrender myself and incapability to the divine. Please take over.
Ethan is back. Old routine starts. I have to keep reminding him doing this and that. Again, he gets frustrated and tears comes down. I asked him to plan his own schedule of doing math and English excises. But he kept delaying couldn't keep up with his own planning. I also got upset with Nana couldn't follow my directions. Why is my life full of frustrations? How do I stay calm when things don't turn out the way I wish them to be?
When I was wondering what love is and how to go on with my relationship, I read dsome knowledge of Guruji about love. It blew me away. It says" love is not an act nor business, it can't be proved ..we are love. Are we able to uplift the other person from a hard day of work? when we feel we don't deserve all the love we receive everyday..love is always about giving.. Demand destroys love..." while reading, I was in tears. Am I a love giver or demander? Does my partner want to runaway or be with me? Check this article out. you will benefit from it as much as me. http://www.wisdom.srisriravishankar.org/success-or-failure-in-love/
