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目前顯示的是 7月, 2017的文章
What life is all about? Karma? Karma pull us all together.  I love you you love me, I hurt you, you hurt me...all tangle together.  How to untangle? Just accept that it's karma and fate that pull us together and take this life as the opportunity to get better.  Believe I must had done same thing to the other person and caused the same amount of pain to him/her.  I regret and repent what I did to cause other's pain and today's karma.  Everything is also a reflecttion of my heart.  If I want things to work at work, marriage, familiy, ....I am the base, the leader..I have to be strong. It's a matter of changing the way how I think.  Everything changes.
Today, chigong teacher told me " Children, because they don't know, they need to learn.  As a parent, we can't be tired from teaching them. 心不能累!”  I am exhausted.  Why can't I be tired? Today, I expressed to Ethan How tired I am with his attitude, his laziness, my relationship...but I don't just say I can't do it and give up.  I have to try different ways to make things work". Since I was 14, I lived in Costa Rica with my younger brother and sister without my parents.  I had to figure out how to do everything by myself.  I can't accept excuses for laziness and not trying.  It won't get anyone any where.  Rome was not build in one day.  Trying to find solutions is important instead of waiting for someone to give answers. Ethan, I hope after today's conversation, you can start to take responsibility of your learning.  I love you very much!
Interesting.  I wrote something, it got disappeared.  I expressed my frustrations between the relationship with my son, my husband, even with Nana.  Nothing turns out the way how I want them to be. I think it's my problem.  Who can teach me how to be a patient inspirational mom, loving and supporting wife and understanding boss.  Nothing to look forward to.  I am upset.  I believe my relationship with my partner drives everything else.  How come? I let my frustration go somewhere else.  It's not healthy and fair to everyone else. I surrender myself and incapability to the divine. Please take over.
Ethan is back.  Old routine starts.  I have to keep reminding him doing this and that. Again, he gets frustrated and tears comes down.  I asked him to plan his own schedule of doing math and English excises.  But he kept delaying couldn't keep up with his own planning. I also got upset with Nana couldn't follow my directions.  Why is my life full of frustrations? How do I stay calm when things don't turn out the way I wish them to be?
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Ethan completed his 8 days of bike tour.  I am very proud of him.  He showed team work, determination, also made a lot of friends and memories for a life time. 
When I was wondering what love is and how to go on with my relationship, I read dsome knowledge of Guruji about love.  It blew me away.  It says" love is not an act nor business, it can't be proved ..we are love. Are we able to uplift the other person from a hard day of work?  when we feel we don't deserve all the love we receive everyday..love is always about giving.. Demand destroys love..." while reading, I was in tears. Am I a love giver or demander? Does my partner want to runaway or be with me? Check this article out.  you will benefit from it as much as me. http://www.wisdom.srisriravishankar.org/success-or-failure-in-love/
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XI did some art work with Mika. 100% focused.  Not worried about the outcome.  It's like meditation!
What do I have to be thankful today? My husband kept his promised and took his daughter to watch " The minions 3". He asked me to join.  Then we had dinner. After that he bought raspberry ice-cream.  He said I chose this so we can share.  Very little thing, but very thoughtful of him. He requested a small pop corn for himself.  I bought a medium one for family to share. He got upset and disappointed.  Then I went and bought his own.  My thinking was I didn't want to waste and we will go to dinner later.  He felt his voice wasn't heard and said "I am used to be disappointed by food".  I got a lesson finally.  When it comes to the man of the house, I can't be cheap nor ignore him.
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After morning meeting , then met up with an old employee of us.  Then 4 hours of flower arrangement.  My mind was not calm enough.  Had to focus one string at a time. Even though it's always very challenging and tiring, I always enjoy my flower arrangement class with Teacher David.  He is tough, creative and very different.  I am lucky to learn from him and to express my artistic side at least once a week.
I got up and went checked on my daughter's room: an Artist with acrylic paint everywhere, paint was on her arm, leg, knee...especially on the baby camel carpet I brought back from Morocco. I gave her shit about painting in her room not protecting the floor and her cloth and body.  Later she came up with a treasure box and tears in her eyes saying "do you know how long I work on this last night?  Till 11 and still not yet finished.  And I want to give this to you as a gift..." I am sorry Mika.  You don't have to be a dirty artist.  I also like you to take care of your things.  Or I can't share my clothes, bags and accessories with you!
I have decided not to get upset with people or things easily when they don't match up my standard.  I learn to listen from their point of view and their reasoning.  And say it's ok and give them a second chance.  A lot of times things don't match up to my expectations.  I just have to learn everyone has their limitations.  I also need to give other people a break.
I came back I found out the following thing about my son 1. Not doing his math and English HW everyday. 2. Went to see movie with his friend without taking his sister 3. I agreed with him that he can bring NTD 1000 extra to go to his riding trip.   His father did not talk to me and gave him 3000.  And Ethan didn't tell his dad that the coach doesn't want him to bring too much money.  The idea is to travel with minimum. 4.  He told me he was going to take his sister to the Movie on Saturday to make it up.  He told me and his dad that the movie was sold out.  He told his sister he was going to make the reservation on Friday.  Saturday morning, he asked his sister to make reservation for movie tickets ( he was supposed to do it) At the end, he did not take his sister to movie. 5.  He asked me if he could bring his nrw phone to the bike tour.  I said no.  He tried again with his father. 6.  I asked him to bring something to the company for me.  It didn't get done. I am
Graduate from fasting. It's nice to have free time in the nature. To medidate to take two walks in the nature.  After work gets on track, I wish to have more free time, less stress, spend more time in the nature, more seva, help more people.  My true wish. Without health, nothing matters. However people only realize this when they lost the health.  Bless everyone.  I will need about a week to recover.